the meadow
by ipodgirl
Summary: okay, so edward and bella don't meet at school, but one afternoon she goes to the meadow, and sees edward sparkle,
1. Chapter 1

**this will be rubbish but don't be harsh, i try**

chapter1

This was it. The last time. It would not happen again.  
Those were my thoughts last time, and yet here i was. Stupid weakling!

hhhmmmm.... I guess I should explain....

It was one year ago exactly that it started. Maybe I could use that as an excuse, I could still pretend I had got better.  
one year later and I am here to show myself it won't happen anymore.

Yeah, right.

It was a Saturday morning, I was feeling pretty low and had nothing to do. I was a stranger in this town. The greenness of this town was still overwhelming and the rain was monotonous. However, that particular Saturday it had not been raining. It had been warm, but it wasn't raining and that was good enough for me.I woke up just in time to hear my dad leave the house. Fishing probably. I got up, put on some jeans and a random t-shirt, I didn't really care, I hadn't met anyone in this place yet anyway. I grabbed a cereal bar, and headed outside with my ipod. I got in my rusted truck, which I loved. I needed to leave the house, go somewhere. Though of course I had no clue where I was going, I had only been in forks for three days. I started my truck and turned onto the road, just driving for a while. I drove on in a similar way til the pavement ended. There was a trail leading off into the forest. I got out of my truck.  
I had no idea what I was doing here, or where here even was. I felt I had been drawn here by some entirely random magnet, I mean there was nothing there.  
Just a bunch of trees. I started walking, in a different direction to the trail, to nowhere, really. Why was I even here? Why am I walking off? I can't even walk on a flat surface without tripping. Why did i=I think hiking was a good idea? With all these thoughts swimming in my head, I realised I had walked into the forest, I couldn't even see the road anymore. I looked at the time on my ipod, wow, I had been walking for ages! I hadn't even fallen yet! I started watching my feet more carefully, it was only a matter of time til I went flying. I guess I should have turned back, I was just getting even more lost, but I didn't really want to. I was feeling oddly peaceful.

After spending most of the morning walking, tripping up less often than usual, and wondering why the hell I was here, the light in the trees up ahead got brighter. I quickened my pace, and soon I was stepping into a clearing. It was beautiful, everything was so fresh and exquisite. Ihe greenness of forks, which I usually found annoying, looked breathtaking here. A smile spread across my face. Suddenly in the corner of my eye I saw a blur. many people would have ignored it, and thought it was just a bird or some form of animal. I, how ever, had to ask who was there. this was probably a sign that my mind is backwards,  
I mean, if i imagined the entire thing, it made sense that i had been the one to start it off. The one to force my delusion out off the shadows, where anyone else would have ignored it. So, my irrational mind forced me to say "I saw you, and I am sure that you are here, so just answer me" drop it bella! Theres probably no-one even there! but, apparently, I hadn't imagined the presence, or maybe, I had imagined I heard them answer.

I didn't really care.

"You saw me?" a velvety voice questioned. I gasped, the voice was so amazing, the meadow seemed dull now. I wanted to see the voices owner."What exactly did you see?" The voice brought me out off my thoughts. What did he mean? what did I see? Like he was worried about being seen. huh?  
They were still waiting for an answer, but I was unsure of what to say, what I had seen. so I decided he had to answer my query first, I still didn't know who the voice belonged to. "not till you answer my question, I asked you who you are"  
The voice replied back, in a puzzled tone "I'm Edward Cullen" Edward Cullen, okay.  
"I'm not sure what difference knowing your name makes to be honest, I mean I don't know who you are, and it's not like like were having a conversation, since I can't even see you" I said, I was babbling and I hadn't even seen the guy. oh dear.  
"Did you see me before?" he asked, I wondered why it seemed so important. I didn't really know what to say.  
Okay, so I know that I hadn't seen him really. but I lied. I said I had, that way, maybe, I would get to see him.  
he seemed to doubt me, like he thought I would have run away if I had or something."o]Okay, what do i look like then?"

damn it!

I decided to make something weird up, make it into a joke. I described a character that had been in a dream I had recently.  
"Sparkly, and you had copper coloured hair, and gold eyes" I said with a laugh.  
I heard a gasp.  
was I right??? what?!?!? he was sparkly!?! how had I managed to do that!  
huh??? I had dreamt about Edward?

I needed to see this. I asked him to come into the clearing. A second later, there he stood, looking magnificent, his skin glittering like it had diamonds in it. I gasped, my chin hanging open. He was amazing. I blushed, I had been staring at him for an entire minute. He seemed uncomfortable. It half occurred to me that the fact he was sparkling was not human. He was not human. hhhmmmm....

"So, what are you then?, I mean your not human, well, I've never seen a human sparkle before anyway"  
he didn't answer me, he seemed pained, like something really bad had happened.  
"No one will ever believe you" he said coldly.

And then he ran, a little too fast for human standards and I just whispered after him "I wasn't going to tell anyone...."

and he was gone. I was left alone in the forest. I started walking in god knows what direction, but found that I was going in a similar direction to where Edward had gone. After about twenty minutes, I had reached a part of the road, which made no sense. And my car was there. I smiled and murmured "thanks Edward" because I had no other explanation as to how my car was suddenly a few miles from where I parked it. I reached home feeling numb and in a state of disbelief, he was no longer here, and i had no proof he ever had been.


	2. Chapter 2

**okay. so i wasn't sure whether i was going to even continue with this, but then i got two really nice reviews and it made me smile! =] ..thanks to those who reviewed!**

chapter 2

That night, I reached home, made char-my dad some tea quickly and went up to my room. I just sat there for a while,  
thinking. I couldn't sleep, I was restless. I took a shower, the water helped to relax me. After I got out of the shower I hung around my room for a while, trying to work out what was going on. I turned on my ipod and put it on shuffle, then lay back on my bed. I fell asleep slowly.

That night, I had another dream about Edward.

_We were in the forest again, but it wasn't the clearing this time. He wasn't sparkling in this dream, it was dark.  
I could see his face, cold and brilliant in the moonlight. It was getting darker and I was getting scared, I really wanted him to stay. He looked like he wanted to leave, but at the same time it seemed like he really wanted to stay.  
He was just out of my reach, but I couldn't catch him. At one point, I desperately ran towards him. Then he ran.  
I was left in the woods alone._

I woke up crying, great. I was crying because in my dream Edward, who I am pretty sure I imagined, left me.  
Stop being so pathetic, Bella. How could my imaginary sparkly friend have such an effect on me? I mean, firstly I made him up! People just don't sparkle. Fresh tears. I went and washed my face. Trying to clear my mind.

It was monday today, which meant my first day at forks high. I was not looking forward to this. It would, however serve as a distraction. It meant I had something to do to keep my mind off Edward. He might go to forks high. Nope I doubt that very much. Figments of imagination don't go to school.

I got in my rusted truck, and headed towards the school. I was nervous, which is not unusual for someone starting a new school, but part of me knew that I was hoping Edward would be there. As much as I tried not think about it. I was soon at school, since forks was so small. I got out of the car, and headed towards the school. It was small,  
and I was early, so the car park was practically empty. I made my way over to the first building, which I assumed was where the office was. "I'm Bella swan, a new student here." I told the secretary. She had heard of me before though, of course she had, I was the police chiefs' daughter. Everyone seemed to be aware of my arrival.

She handed me my timetable and a map. I left to look for my first lesson, outside the building, more people had arrived. Across the car park I saw a group of people arrive. I was stunned, I stared at them. They were all insanely beautiful and pale. They reminded me of Edward. There were for of them. One blonde girl, who was tall and slim and looked as if she should have been a model. One short, petite girl with spiky black hair who looked pixie-like and very pretty. One very tall and muscular boy, who reminded me slightly of a bear and one blonde boy, who was more lanky, and wore a slightly pained expression.

I was still staring when someone stepped in front of me and started talking. It took me a second to snap out of my trance, "sorry, what?" I said looking at the person infront of me. It was a guy with spiky blonde hair. "your isabella swan aren't you? cheif swans daughter, do you want me to show you where your first lesson is"  
I didn't really want to go with him, but I didn't know my way around so I said yes. He led me across the car park and towards a building. I discovered that his name was mike and that he was probably going to be quite a nuisance.

My first lesson was trig, in which I met Jessica. She seemed nice. I spent lunch sat with Jessica,mike and some other people that I met, Eric, Ben and Angela. They all talked to me and asked me questions about myself. I did not like to have attention on myself.I was disappointed that Edward wasn't here, but the group I had seen in the car park intrigued me. They looked so much like him! I looked around the room, and spotted them. Jessica caught me looking at them. "They're the Cullens" THE CULLENS?? "they are doctors Cullen's foster kids, the blonde girl is Rosalie, and shes dating the big guy, Emmet. The small black haired girl is Alice, shes dating Rosalie's brother, jasper. Its a little weird, really, I mean they all live together. There's another one, Edward, but hes not here today."

EDWARD! my head spun. It had to be him! He looked so much like them. but why wasn't he here? was it my fault? I really wanted to see him. He existed!

The rest of the day was spent in a daze, I was thinking of Edward. Were the other Cullens like him? They certainly looked like him. Had he not turned up because of me? because I has seen him sparkle? because I knew he wasn't exactly human? I hoped he would turn up tomorrow, just so I could see him. I needed to ask what he was, but he probably wouldn't tell me.I wanted to see him though. I needed to work out what he was.

I went home disapointed but fully hoping that Edward would be there tomorrow. He actually went to the same school!  
I hadn't even believed that he existed! Just because they had the same name didn't mean that it was him though. I could still have imagined him though, the name could be coincidence. but his family, they looked so much like him!  
It had to be him didn't it?

That night I couldn't sleep so I did something I never do.. I went to the cupboard and took cold medicine, I did not feel ill, but it would send me to sleep. I went to my room and e-mailed my mom on my computer, telling her about my day, so she wouldn't worry.

I lay on my bed and soon enough I was deeply asleep. I did not dream.


	3. Chapter 3

**hello =] thanks to all who review , your very nice to me.  
like, more nice than deserve um..rebecca you said to contact you but it didn't say how.  
anyway.  
i realised that i keep forgetting to do disclaimers.  
so...um....i don't own twilight people, if i did ...why would i write fanfiction?**

chapter three

The next few days went by the in the same way , I went to school, looked for Edward,he was never there. I was starting to think I had imagined him. I would always look over at their table at lunch, they ignored me, but their family ignored everyone. If they were um...like edward...then they probably wanted to keep a low profile. I really wanted to know about them, but no-one seemed to know anything and I wasn't dumb enough to go "so..hey..do you sparkle in the sun?"

I thought I was right, but, I mean I didn't want to get sectioned. I didn't want to scare them away either, as I think I might have done with edward.

After about three days I was starting to get impaitient, I wanted to see edward again.

School ended on thursday, and I climbed into my truck. I pulled out of the school car park, and started driving. I wasn't going home, I meant to but somehow..I just couldn't. I got to the same part of the road as last time, and stopped my truck. I got out nervously, he probably wasn't even here! but I had to check. I had to see him again! It was incredibly irrational, I know, I didn't even know what he was, but I still really wanted to see him. Needed to see him. He could be dangerous for gods sake! I trusted him though..he hadn't hurt me last time had he? Maybe I was pushing my luck...

I walked to the edge of the forest, trying to remember which way I went last time. After a few minutes I started walking randomly, I hadn't been paying attention last time. This was so stupid, I shouldn't have come. I should have at least waited till the weekend to come. It was starting to get dark already..

I walked for ages, I was starting to think I was lost. It was getting darker by the minute. Suddenly though, I stepped out into the clearing. It wasn't as beautiful this time though, more sinister, somehow. I was starting to panic. How stupid was I? It was too late to come here, it wasn't safe. Edward wasn't here, he wouldn't come again.I had scared him away. That thought made me sad, I had scared such a beautiful creature away. Me, insignificant little bella. I had managed to make him leave. A sob escaped me then, it was all my fault!

"please come back!" I begged pointlessly, sat in the middle of the clearing. It was getting cold, I curled up into a ball feeling miserable. I stayed like that for a long time, tears escaping me. What was up with me? Why had this had such an effect on me? Snap out of it bella! I couldn't though, I just lay there. After a while I fell asleep.

When I woke up I was in my room. WHAT?! I was still wearing the same thing I had on yesterday. How had I got to my room?!?

I lay there for a while, my head spinning. Questions floating through my head. I sat up and looked around the room,  
for signs that anyone had been here. That HE had been here. On my bedside table, there was a folded peice of paper.  
My heart skipped several beats. He had been there!

I picked up the note and opened it, my hands shaking. In the most beautiful writing I had ever seen, it said;

Don't come back to the clearing - forget me. Edward.

The first thing I thought was HE HAD BEEN THERE!! EDWARD HAD BEEN THERE!

But it said to forget him, to never go back to the clearing.  
I wouldn't do that, I couldn't do that!

I couldn't forget what I had seen, I had to go back to the clearing. I had to!

I started crying again.  
Stop it bella!

I can do this, I can't forget Edward, but I can avoid the clearing. I had to, it wasn't fair on edward, I was obviously making his life harder.

I would continue as if I had never seen him sparkle.

I got up to get ready for school.

**not a very long chapter...and i'm not too pleased with how it turned out but....**


	4. Chapter 4

**okay..so i've been updating quite regularly but i won't be as much soon because half term will be over, also i keep getting told off for spending so much time on the computer.  
so...everyone who reviews is awesome!  
and thankyou for reading this!  
okay...so i don't own twilight coughs yet.**

chapter 4

I started my truck, put on the radio and began to drive to school. I felt crushed. I stared out of the window at the scenery. It was warm today, and sunny. Pictures of Edward sparkling in the sun filled my your eyes on the road bella! Stop daydreaming about Edward cullen. He told you to forget him! I pulled up in the school car park ,the cullens hadn't arrived today. I smiled to myself, I was the only one who knew the real reason why. I got out and made my way to my first lesson. I was spaced out thinking the entire first jessica and angela questioned my distraction, but I didn't have much of an answer, so they left me to it.

At home I made my dad dinner. He wasn't much of a cook and besides, I really needed distraction. I made him some pasta, since he would be home soon and I didn't have time to make much else. He seemed to appreciate my effort, mind you, with his cooking skills it's probably the first edible thing hes eaten at home for years.

"Whats up bella? you seem a little out of it." Damn it! was it that obvious? I smiled weakly and said I was fine. I had to admit I probably wasn't very convincing. Charlie didn't press me any further, but I could tell he was not convinced. I finished my meal and went up to my room, I could hear charlie watching sports downstairs.

I was still thinking about Edward, still wondering what he was, still picturing him sparkle, still asking myself why it even bothered me. None of it should have mattered, since I would never see him again. I frowned and lay back on my bed. I did my homework, took a shower, e-mailed my mom and put on a CD. I had run out of distractions. I fell asleep and had another dream about Edward.

_It started in the same way as the last dream. I was in the forest in the dark. Edward out of my reach, always just out of my reach. This time though, I didn't run towards him as I had last time. I just sat watching him. After a while though, I reached my hand out to him. His velvet voice told me to forget him and he stood and walked slowly away. I tried to follow afterwards, but found myself lost in the dark. I called after him but he never returned._

How was I supposed to forget him if he wouldn't leave my dreams? If I couldn't stop thinking about him?

I sighed and rolled over, a tear falling down my cheek. I had to stop this!

The next week went by much the same, I was a mess. Each day I spent distracted, each night I dreamt about Edward again. At lunch I often glanced over at the cullens. I wondered what they thought of me, had Edward mentioned me?  
Did they know that I knew they weren't human?

I had to stop thinking about them, but it was so difficult. Thinking about Edward was something I was allowed to do something that they had no control over, but it was tearing me apart. It was not easy to forget Edward like I had to, when I couldn't stop thinking about him. Charlie was getting increasingly worried about me, as I was getting more and more distant.

Jessica and Angela had stopped trying to get my attention. Mike, however continued to bug me, seeming not to notice that I wasn't paying any attention what so ever.

Charlie said that he was worried that I hadn't left the house much recently, so I asked Jessica and Angela to go to port angeles with me next week. I wasn't exactly thrilled about the trip, but it would be a good thing, I decided.  
A distraction that I needed.

Charlies friend came to visit, one night. Billy black, with his son, who was about fifteen. He seemed nice, but I was still in my own bubble and Edwards face was swimming in my mind. Jacob went to the school on the reservation, so I had never seen him before. He made me smile, wich I hadn't done alot of recently.

That night I went up to my room and started re-reading Wuthering heights. Sinking into the story completely.

I had the dream again.

**yep..this story is getting worse as i go along, but the next chapter will be great, i promise**


	5. Chapter 5

**okay..this chapter WILL be good.  
and...i stephenie meyer owns twilight until i can go and steal it from her, but i need to get to america first.  
=] reviewers are fit lol and this story has been getting worse..maybe i should have given up.  
but i think that i have enough to write in this chapter that it will turn out good.  
i hope.**

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chapter 5

I got up in the morning feeling tired. It wasn't raining today, for a change. It was very cold and there was ice on the roads. I realised I was late waking up. I got in my truck in a hurry and sped as fast as I could to school, wich was not very fast, since it wasn't safe on the roads weren't as slippy as I had expected them to be though, wich was odd. I arrived at school with about two minutes to get to my first lesson.

When I got to the back of my truck I saw why the roads had not been as bad as they should have, charlie had put on snow tracks. I stood at the back of my truck, looking at the tyres, that was so nice of charlie. charlie wasn't one to tell you how much he cared, and his unvoiced show of affection had an impact on me.

I stood there staring at my tyres, when I heard a screeching sound coming from behind me. I whirled round and saw a car kidding across the ice towards me. It was heading straight towards where I was stood, I didn't have time to move anywhere. I stood rooted to the spot, watching the car speed towards me. Suddenly something cold hit me, but not from the direction I was expecting, I was pinned to the ground watching the car speed towards me. Two pale white hands reached out in front of me, the car came crashing to a halt, the hand leaving dents in the side. The van was held up in the air, and my resuer moved my legs out of the way of the van and let it drop to the ground.

"Are you alright?" a velvety voice asked me. EDWARD. I looked up at him, shocked. He had saved me. He was here, why was he here? why had he saved me? he was here. I blinked and shook my head to clear my thoughts, I half-expected him to be gone when I opened my eyes. "Bella,are you alright?" he repeated. People were begining to gather round us now, panicing. I nodded weakly, unable to answer him.

I tried to get up, but edward kept me pinned to the ground. "but it's cold.." I muttered. I heard him chuckle. I heard an ambulance arrive then and they put both me and tyler on stretchers, not edward, though of course, he didn't need one. More things to add to his description, super strength and super speed, wow. he is praticaly indestructable.

We arrived at the hospital and doctor cullen treated me, edwards father. I didn't see edward again that day, so i couldn't question him on what he was. I tried to tell dry heafd cullen about edward lifting the van, but he shrugged it off, saying i had hit my head and must be confused. He did look a little worried though. after half an hour of tyler apologising to me, i was allowed to go home.

I got home and lay on the couch, wondering why edward was there, why he had saved me, what was he, where was he now, would i ever see him again. I might never see him again. that thought hit me like a ton of bricks. i don't know why, i should have been used to thinking i would never see him again, and yet, somehow, it was horrible.

thoughts of today and edward swam in my mind, i was still trying to work out what he was, even though i probably wouldn't see him again. i fell asleeep that night and dreamt of edward again. the next week went by in a blur, loads of people asking me what had happened, i said that edward had been stood next to me and dragged me out of the way. no-one questioned it, which was odd since edward hadn't shown up at school since i had arrived, aprt from when he saved me. tyler kept apologising and mike kept bugging me, but i was still distant.

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**hhmmmm....i THINK that was a bit better, but i am losing it, maybe it's the mood i'm in, i spent hours sat in the dark listening to music, kinda moping, today. i think its affecting my writing, the length of the chapters is getting shorter too. =[  
soo how was that chapter? you can tell me if it was crap.**


	6. Chapter 6

**there were two ways i could have gone with this chapter, one was more obvious and the other more interesting for me to write....if it doesn't work then tell me in a review and i might replace it with the other idea....**

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chapter 6

It has been an entire year since then, I have never seen edward since. The cullens had vanished from forks high about a week after edward saved me. They said that carlisle had been offered a job in another hospital, and had moved nearer to it. I never found out which hospital.

So, I'm back here. A year from when I first came to the meadow. Since the cullens had left I had half convinced myself they had never existed. It wasn't hard to do, its easier to assign sparkly people to your imagination than believe in them. No-one mentioned the cullens much sincethey left, and I was free to beleive I had imagined them. It made it easier, thinking they weren't real, it stopped me irrationaly missing edward so much, thinking I had dreamt him. I still dreamt of him every night anyway. I was sort of a mess, but it was ok.

I had started hanging out with jacob black, whom I had met in the same week I had seen edward. He was always able to cheer me up, but not completely. He was my best friend and I loved him, but in a brother-sister kind of way. He, however had started acting weird. I was a little worried about him.

Today, though, I wasn't thinking about jacob. I was thinking about edward. One year exactly from when I had first seen him. I got in my truck and started driving, if I could prove he wasn't real, then maybe I would stop dwelling on him. In truth, though, I was hoping he would be there. That made no sense, why would edward turn up? Its not like I mean anything to him, and hes moved away, why would he come back a year after we had met? He had no reason to. I was heading towards the meadow, ofcourse.

I parked my truck at the side of the road and started walking. After a while I saw the familiar light from the clearing brighten the trees ahead. I had reached it much faster than the other two times, I had half ran all the way, tripping about five times, which was less than usual.

I stepped out into the clearing, trying to be quiet, I didn't want to scare him away. Even though he probably wasn't here and I wouldn't be surprised if he had super-hearing, it would fit with all his other abilities.

I looked around the clearing and stood frozen in shock. HE WAS HERE. EDWARD WAS HERE. Lay on the ground. I approached him slowly, I didn't want hm to leave, like he did every nightin my dreams.

"edward..!" I gasped. He was real! He was here. I pinched my arm, hard. I was awake. He sat up suddenly, looking pained. He was going to leave again, I knew it, but I had to try and stop him, I couldn't let him leave again.  
"don't run away from me edward cullen!" I said in a stern voice. He looked shocked, he didn't say anything. I looked at him, he was still stunningly beautiful. He looked exactly the same as he had last time I saw him, not even slightly older, which was odd, normaly when you haven't seen someone in a year they look different.

He still hadn't said anything. " I'm serious, do you know how many times you have run away from me in my dreams"  
Why had I said that? I must have completely freaked him out, he had met me what? three times? and I had just told him that I dream about him. I was surprised he hadn't left already.

"I'm sorry I came here" he said,speaking at last. What did he mean? was he that unhappy to see me? " you were supposed to forget you had met me. I thought you would have forgotten, otherwise I wouldn't have come, I'm putting you in danger again." danger? was he dangerous? he hadn't done anything to hurt me, apart from leaving. why did that hurt me? I could never forget, though, how could he think I would have forgotten him? why was he here? did he realise it had been a year since I first saw him? or did he just come back to his favourite place, that I had prevented him from visiting, expecting me to have forgotten all about it?

"danger?" I queried. "you've saved my life once, and somehow brought me home from here another time. even if you are a monster it doesn't seem like you pose any threat to me."

he chuckled darkly "I don't want to hurt you bella, but I am dangerous, you need to stay away from me, from here."

"no." I stated. "I am not going to stay away from you. you were gone for a year and yet I still came back here, I couldn't forget you existed, it was too hard."

" it's not fair on you, I put you in danger all the time, and you don't even know" he said.

with that he got up and ran away. I sobbed, he was leaving again. I walked back to my truck, feeling numb.

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**i hope that made sense, feel free to tell me if it didn't. that chapter should have been longer. but i am a little bit happier with the story now...**


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